Love Me Merciless

CHAPTER ONE

adeline

now

If you’re going to sneak into your boss’s hot tub, you should probably double check that he’s still out of town, and you should definitely not be naked. I realize this too late as the lights flick on in the kitchen and he steps into view.

I sink deeper into the water, but it won’t hide me for long. Shit. I’m barely a month into this job and I’m going to get fired.

Through the window, Grayson fixes an espresso, and before I can muster my courage to leap from the hot tub and dash out of sight, he swings open the patio door.

He stops in his tracks. “Who the hell are you?”

I shouldn’t be surprised he doesn’t recognize me—it’s been too long—and this isn’t the time to remind him.

“Your, um, new caretaker,” I reply, cringing. My skin is already hot from the water, but my face might as well be in flames.

He’s tall with broad, muscular shoulders that fill his chambray dress shirt like it was specifically tailored just for him. Given his wealth, it probably was. He’s rolled up the cuffs of his shirt, revealing his tanned, muscular forearms, the right one inked with a tattoo.

“And you thought it would be okay to help yourself to my jacuzzi tub?” His gaze dips, and a corner of his mouth twitches. Does he think this is funny? “Where’s your…never mind.”

I could tell him about my sore back and shoulders thanks to the week I’ve had. How his horse, Raider, threw me yesterday. How the hay delivery was just that—a delivery, and I spent six hours shuttling bales to the loft then sweeping up the mess. How in the process of trying to trap a bat that had flown into the house I fell off the back of the couch, but I don’t. “It won’t happen again.”

Dark heat flashes in his eyes. Gone is the playfulness. “If you want to keep this job, that would be wise.”

I scrunch my eyes shut to hold back my emotions. I can’t get fired. Thundering Heart Sanctuary depends on it. “Yes sir.”

He settles at the table and pulls out his phone. “I have a call to make.”  

“I’ll go.” I hurry to the stairs, squeeze out my long hair, and grab the towel. It’s tricky to get it wrapped around me while emerging from the water without soaking the bottom edge or exposing myself, and I don’t do a very good job.

After snatching up my pile of barn-filthy clothes and dusty boots, I cross the sun-warmed flagstone patio, focusing on my steps so I don’t trip and make an even bigger fool of myself, until I’m out of sight at the side of the house. In the shade of the eaves, I tug on my clothes and step back into my boots. Then I take the gravel road past the barn to my cabin. Only after I’m inside do I realize I’m missing my panties.

CHAPTER TWO

GRAYSON

now

I finish knotting my tie, then add my Bulgari watch, the one Dad gave me last year when I took over the family business, resisting the urge to look out my window for a glimpse of my new caretaker. Seeing her naked in the hot tub this morning should not have unsettled me. Then I found her blue silk panties on the flagstone.  

If it wasn’t for her look of mortification, I would say she left them on purpose.

I call my business manager.

“Good morning, sir,” he answers in a brisk clip.

“Morning. What can you tell me about my new caretaker?”

“Is there a problem, sir?”

I debate sharing this morning’s transgressions, but decide to keep it to myself. “No problem. What’s her name?”

“Adeline Mayfield.”

I frown. “Is her mother Josephine Mayfield?”

“I don’t know, sir, but I’ll find out.”

“All right.” I end the call and brace against the edge of the vanity. It couldn’t be the same Adeline—Addy—could it? The girl I played with that first summer my family moved to Finn River. The girl who loved horses and jumping off the highest rock at the swimming hole and never turned down a dare. The girl who was not intimidated by my wealth.

The girl I secretly crushed on for years.

CHAPTER THREE

Grayson

age 10

“I don’t wanna go outside.” It comes out whiny but I don’t care. “There’s bugs.”

Dad gives me a curious glance over his coffee cup, then kisses my mom’s cheek and heads for the door. He works all the time, but since we moved to Finn River, he’s around more. Yesterday, he even took me to the house he’s building for us. I don’t hate it, but there’s a lot of dirt in Idaho. And the air tastes weird.

“You are not staying inside again today,” Mom says from across the kitchen island where she’s skimming a newspaper while sipping her coffee. “Not on such a beautiful day.”

“What about Kirilee?” I ask, glancing into the living room where my little sister is on the floor with a sticker book, humming to herself. Last year, some guy kidnapped her. Just showed up at her school and told her he was a friend of Dad’s. It was over fast, and my sister wasn’t harmed, but nothing has been the same since.

I regret asking because my mom’s eyes look sad as she watches my sister. “She has a riding lesson after lunch, and then an appointment.”

 The last thing I want is to get dragged along. Especially if the appointment is with Dr. Schrader.

A flash of color and the tap of footsteps on the back porch startles Mom, and she whips around just as a girl appears at our sliding glass door.

Our security guard steps forward, but I dash to the door and slide it open before he can stop me.

“Hi!” the girl says. Her shiny blonde hair is pulled back in a lopsided ponytail and her blue eyes seem to sparkle. Like she’s just been laughing. Her right knee has a giant band-aid across it and her tanned shins are crisscrossed with scratch marks. “We’re gonna play in the river, want to come?”

Mom steps next to me, the silky fabric of her shirt brushing my arm. “What river?”

The girl glances over her shoulder, to where our grassy lawn dips toward the creek behind our house. Her footprints have left a trail straight from the banks to our back porch.

“That one.”

“Is there adult supervision?” Mom asks.

The girl squints up at her, chewing on the edge of her lip. “Jesse’s eleven.”

Mom glances at Thompson. He gives her a nod. Meaning he’s already orchestrating one of his staff to watch over me if I go. Since the kidnapping, security is everywhere. Dad says it’ll be less obvious once we move to the house he’s building inside Finn River Ranch because it’s “members only” and security is “state of the art”. Whatever that means.

“What are you playing?” I ask.

The girl shrugs. “Why don’t you come find out?”

I don’t want to, but I sort of do. “Do you have bug spray?”

The girl’s eyes go wide. “You can’t wear any in the creek. It’s bad for the fish.”

I’m about to turn her down when she slips a piece of wood from her shorts pocket. It’s been carved to the shape of a kayak. “I’ll let you race my boat.”

“Okay.” The word slips past my lips before I can take it back.

“Stay within view of the house,” Mom warns, making eye contact with Thompson.

I slide the screen open and step outside. The girl takes off down the steps, forcing me to hurry to keep up. When we’re walking side by side, retracing her footsteps, she says, “I’m Adeline. What’s your name?”

“Grayson.”

“Cool.” She turns without slowing down. “Is he gonna follow us?”

I don’t know which of the guards is shadowing us, but none of them ever talk. “Yeah. It’s for my safety.”

She gives me a blank look.

I decide not to explain. It’s already weird enough.  

The damp grass is coating my sneakers and soaking into my socks, but Adeline doesn’t seem to mind, so neither do I.

“Are you going to have Mrs. Seabeck this year?” Adeline asks.

“I don’t know.” Dad’s already enrolled me in Bellmont Academy starting in sixth grade. Until then I’ll be going to school in Finn River.

“If you are, we’ll be in the same class.”

“What grade are you?” I ask.

“Fifth.”

“Me too.”

The grass dips toward the creek. Its mineral scent tickles my nose as we clamber over the boulders to a narrow strip of gravel alongside the clear water rushing over copper and slate colored stones. Across the creek, splashing around in ankle-deep water as they move stones are two other kids, a girl and a boy, their chatter blending with the steady hush of the creek. One of them must be Jesse.

Adeline steps into the water, testing her footing as she goes. The water rushes around her ankles.

I glance at the security guard standing in the shadow of a giant oak tree. Part of me hopes he’ll stop me because isn’t this dangerous?

Adeline glances back, frowning. “What’s wrong?”

I glance at my sneakers. They’re already damp from the grass. But I can’t seem to make myself step into the water.

Adeline’s eyes go still. “It’s okay,” she says, and offers her hand. “I won’t let you fall.”

I’m not scared is on the tip of my tongue. I stare at Adeline’s tiny palm and the steady calm in her blue eyes. Then I slip my hand into hers.

“Face upriver like me,” she says. “We’ll sidestep.”

I copy her stance and step into the water. The cold stings my bare ankles but the warmth from where our hands are clasped makes me forget about it. The current isn’t fast but some of the stones are slippery. Without Adeline holding my hand, I would have turned back.

“So you just play in wet shoes all day?”

“We could take them off,” Adeline replies.

We reach the other side. It’s sunny over here, and warm. Adeline jumps right in with whatever project they’ve got going. Something about building rapids for their boats. I have no clue what makes a good rapid, but I move rocks and clear out channels. Even though the rocks are slimy and the muck that gets in my fingernails is gross.

“Grayson gets to race first, because he’s the guest,” Adeline says.

Jesse gives me a serious nod and whips his boat from his pocket. His is longer and narrower than Adeline’s.

The four of us take turns racing and catching boats until my security guard, who has relocated to our side of the creek—probably via the bridge downstream—hands me a cell phone. It’s Mom, telling me to come home.

I say goodbye to everyone. Adeline glances up, a hopeful gleam in her eye. “We can play again tomorrow.”

My heart does a weird little dance inside my chest. “Sure.”

The next morning, when I come down to breakfast, something resting on the back porch by the door catches my eye.

I slide the door open and pick it up. It’s a carved wooden boat.

CHAPTER fOUR

Grayson

now

Try as I might to push Adeline from my mind, over the next several days, she consumes my thoughts: during the business trip to Montana, where we’re about to break ground on another exclusive members-only project, then in the middle of my presentation to the board, and at the end of the trip during a four course dinner, when I’m charming a group of new investors.

I left her panties behind, but I can’t quit thinking about them, and seeing her partially naked. As a kid, she was my friend, and then…over the summers I would run into her, or see her from afar, and my heart would constrict.  

I haven’t seen her since that summer before college. Did she become a famous barrel racer like she’d dreamed? Is her favorite color still yellow? Is her favorite movie still The Notebook? Is she still the fearless tomboy she once was?

When I return home, I can’t help checking the stables, hoping to run into her, but it’s quiet, the horses fed and stalls immaculate.

The next morning when I return to the office, my brain still sluggish from traveling, David Munson is sitting in my chair. When my dad passed last year, he stipulated that his second in command and I spend a year working together—competing—then, at the end, the board would vote who would become St. Claire Properties’ new CEO.

“Morning, buddy boy,” Munson croons.

I tamp down my anger. “What do you want?”

He grabs the banana from my desk, the one I have delivered along with a croissant each morning, and peels it slowly.

“Those Montana investors took your terms like greedy little virgins,” he says, then takes a giant bite. “Wait, is that how you got them to sign so fast? You bought them pussy?”

I exhale through my nose to the count of five. “I did no such thing.”

He removes the banana and tosses the peel into my trash can. “It doesn’t matter,” he says through another bite of banana. “You have a weakness, Grayson.”

My thoughts go to Adeline but I force my expression to reflect calm. He can’t possibly know that I’ve been unable to get my childhood crush out of my mind.

“And I’m going to find it.” He pops the last chunk of banana into his mouth. “Then St. Claire Properties will be mine.”

“St. Claire will never be yours. Our year is almost up and I’ve come out on top.”

He sneers.

“On top, huh?” he says, stepping closer. “That how you like it?”

I glance out the window at the hazy view of the Bitterroots to refocus, then force another breath through my nose. “Get out of my office.”

With a look of menace, Munson slips past me.

I slump into my chair. That it’s still warm from Munson’s presence makes me grimace. You have a weakness.

I try to dig into my workday, but Munson’s words rattle around and around in my head. Outside my office, it’s a gorgeous day, the sunlight turning the foothills a golden yellow and the sky is a sparkling robin’s egg blue. Finally, at two o’clock I give up and head home. I’ll take a ride, then work from home this evening.

When I get to the stables, there’s no sign of Adeline, and my horse Raider is gone. Raider was a gift from my father, even though he hardly ever rides and never really took to the cowboy lifestyle out west. Growing up, it was my sister Kirilee and I who begged for horses.

I turn back for the house, intending to drown my disappointment in not seeing her with more phone calls and emails when the soft footfalls mixed with my horse’s soft huffs fill the barn.

“Did you need something?” Adeline asks, dismounting in one smooth motion. She’s wearing jeans, cowboy boots, and a simple black chamois shirt. Her hair is tied back in a loose braid that swishes when she lifts the reins over Raider’s head. His ears flick, as if he can hear my fluttering heartbeat.

“I was going to ride, but…you beat me to it.”

She grimaces. “Sorry. If you had told me, I could have taken out one of the others.” She clips him into the crossties.

“Addie,” I say softly.

She stiffens, like I’ve caught her off guard.

“I didn’t know it was you,” I say. “The other day.”

“Is…that a problem?” She releases the cinch strap with a grunt.

“No.” Damn it, I hate that this is awkward. We were so close as kids. I want to know her again, even though it’s…impractical.

She folds the cinch strap over the saddle and lifts it from Raider’s back and carries it and the saddle blanket into the tack room, her long braid swishing between her shoulder blades.

I walk over and stroke up Raider’s nose. He huffs, his nostrils flaring, something wild in his eyes. “He doesn’t give you trouble?” I call out.

She returns and unclips Raider from the crossties, then leads him into his stall. “Nah. We get along fine, don’t we, boy?” She undoes the bridle and slides it free. Raider shakes his head, his black mane shimmering in the low light.

“Mind if I take out Peaches?” I ask.

She glances up, her eyes alert. “Want me to tack her up for you?”

My stomach twists and a dull ache starts to throb behind my eyes. “Jesus, Addie, you’re not my servant.”

Her lips tighten. “Okay.”

I spin on my heel and hurry to tack up so I can get away from this feeling that no matter what I do, we’ll never get past this awkwardness. That our friendship—anemic after I abandoned it—is ruined for good.

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